“We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us.”
- Francois Rabelais
I take this to mean that we long for the forbidden canon, denied to us by badfic. Or something.
At the very least, you will be desiring to beat in the Sue's head by the end of this fic.Story Or Series Title: Forbidden FruitFandom: Lord of Elrond's Hot Other Daughter
Culprit Author's Name: Juliet Vallecore.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ardess, daughter of Elrond.
Full Species(es): Suicus Really Really HorniusHair Color (include adjectives): Her "deep red hair hung in loose curls".
Eye Color (include adjectives): "emerald eyes".
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Do "ruby lips", "pink nipples", "full hips" and "a waist that was small but not to small" count?
Special Possessions (if any): All of the above, plus a "sea green dress that hugged her curves perfectly" and Legolas and Aragorn's balls.
Annoying Origin: The author's sexual fantasies.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Is the "daughter" of one of them. Is childhood friends with and is banging another...and another...and another...I'm sure.
Annoying Special Abilities: Somehow outclasses Arwen in the looks department.
Other Annoying Traits: When you see my special "I Feel A Song Coming On!" moment, you'll know...
AND WISH YOU DIDN'T. OH, HOW YOU WILL WISH YOU DIDN'T KNOW.( Read more... )Okay, that's all for now, folks. This is a new fic so it may be updated in the future, so you will probably be seeing Ardess banging Aragorn next. Will she go through the Fellowship like a knife through melty butter? Time will tell!